nut hugger
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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