is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
