Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
