You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
