Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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