just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
