You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
