So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
