i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
