idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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