To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He's on the porch naked. Help.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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