I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
