i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
