i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize