He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
