I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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