They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
