TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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