For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You left your phone here
Wait...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
