He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
