Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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