He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
