you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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