I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize