yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
