You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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