I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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