No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
