Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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