There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
