dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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