honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize