You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize