Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize