I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
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I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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