So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
