My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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