she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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