Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize