I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
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my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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