I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
