Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?

Fav 5 1123 988
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.

Fav 38 10664 1178
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(862): View more from New Jersey

he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

Fav 15 5546 1798
share tweet
(252): View more from North Carolina

this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.

Fav 64 5573 1597
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(909): View more from California

The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."

Fav 20 9128 1817
share tweet
(480): View more from Arizona

Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.

Fav 2 1092 2056
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

Fav 4 2094 866
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.

Fav 5 611 1346
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.

(936): View more from Texas

This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?

Fav 0 38 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT