so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Holy sore nipples Batman
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
