I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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