Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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