I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
