I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
