JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
