Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
