He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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