She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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