yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize