No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize