need another drink. this is the easiest way
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
