The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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