I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
