In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
