you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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