Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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