you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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