Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
